


From the weight of the World

by Elwethe



Category: All Time Low
Genre: AU, Concerts, Cutting, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-27
Updated: 2012-02-27
Packaged: 2017-10-31 19:39:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/347674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elwethe/pseuds/Elwethe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A fic where Jersey is a young man with an abusive father, who wants to end it all. He's going to hold on until the All Time Low concert, but his favorite band take things into their own hands.</p>
            </blockquote>





	From the weight of the World

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first fic on this site, so I hope you like it! It was quite hard to write, because I was writing about emotions that I had experienced, and I hope that I got them right for this...
> 
> I don't know if anyone else here ships Alex/Jersey (I call the ship Jex) but I hope you guys like this pairing anyway :)

Jersey squeezed his eyes shut, trying to stop the tears streaming down his cheeks but they escaped anyway. He looked in the mirror and saw the person he hated looking back at him, cheeks soaked wet with all the tears from the hate. He broke eye contact with himself and looked down at the sink, one hand almost absently picking up the razor.

_Slice_

_Slice_

_Slice_

The sharp sting made his breath catch, as he felt alive for just a few seconds, before the roaring pain set in and his arm burned, and he sank back into the dull numbness that was him. Defined him. The blood splattered across the sink, and he turned on the tap, to wash it away, wouldn’t want anyone to have to clean up his mess. The words his dad had yelled at him before the violence, before the doors slamming echoed in his head.

_Worthless_

_Useless_

_Freak of nature_

_Not my son_

Jersey went to slice his arm again, but lyrics suddenly came to his mind, cutting through the abuse circling his mind. It was from his favourite band that his mom had amazingly bought tickets to a concert a few months ago that he’d begged to go to. The concert was next Saturday, so unbelievably close and agonizingly far away at the same time.

 

Figure it out

Boy you're tripping so pull yourself together

Or you'll wash up like the rest

…

Stay awake

Get a grip and get out, you’re safe

From the weight of the world just take

A second to set things straight

Before you ask which way to go

Remember where you've been

 

Jersey sobbed, and slid to the floor, holding his arm, crisscrossed with old and new cuts. Would the tickets still be intact? His mom hadn’t known he was gay. She hadn’t said or done anything while his dad had yelled and hit him, throwing him at the wall, smashing books onto his head, hurling other things next to his head, kicking and spitting on him while Jersey tried to get away, tears pouring from his eyes as he eventually curled into a tight ball, sobbing and protecting his head. He found the bandages and wrapped his arm, applied the ointment to his bruised eyes and aching body, and tried to stand straight without shaking. He’d only told them the truth, was that so selfish?

His dad didn’t come back that week. His mom was silent.

But the day before the concert, Jersey got home from school and saw him sitting on the couch with a beer.

_Faggot_

_Why are you in my house?_

_Get the fuck out_

Then his mom finally spoke

_It’s my house._

_It’s my name on the paper._

_  
_

Smashed window and more yelling, only, not at him. Jersey fled to his room, his sanctuary and turned on his music, trying to drown out the screaming with All Time Low. The razor called. Jersey couldn’t resist, he slipped to the bathroom and found the razors. Sweet stinging dulled the emotional pain by making him focus on the red red blood flow from his arm. After tomorrow night, he could end it. He just wanted to see his favourite band perform, then he could go, let his parents get back to their lives, let them forget about him. Wouldn’t they be happier without him?

He cried himself to sleep that night, as he had every other night, arm throbbing.

The morning came and Jersey was gone, heading to the venue to wait. There were a few other people there early too, all buzzed and happy. They talked to Jersey, but he didn’t speak much, just content to wait, the butterflies dancing in his stomach. He had long sleeves to hide the cuts, and fresh tight bandages, and so no one noticed.

An hour or two before the doors opened, there was a flurry of excitement as the band walked past, but they only waved, they didn’t stop to talk. Besides, the security guard looked grumpy. Then the doors opened. Jersey was swept up in the flow through, and seeing as he had been there so early, he was among the first to go through. Then, he was front row. He couldn’t believe it. Jersey had thought possibly third at the most, but first? He’d be even closer to his idols. The lead singer was his favourite; there was just something about him that made Jersey want to talk to him, kiss him.

Fanboy? Hell yes.

The supporting band was pretty good, but when the backdrop folded down, Jersey yelled with excitement with everyone else. The crowd pressed closer and Jersey grew unbelievably hot, he began sweating, curse the long sleeves! But he couldn’t take them off! Shit! Then the band walked on, grinning and waving. Jersey’s heart stopped, just for a second. They. Were. Right. There. They powered into the first song and Jersey chanted the lyrics right back at Alex Gaskarth, heart freezing up every time Alex glanced at him, or his way.

Not thinking, he raised his arms and danced as much as the front row could. Jack jumped around near Alex and Zack and looked like an adorable monkey, and Zack jumped around with that amazing pink bass of his that Jersey desperately wanted to play. Alex’s voice sounded amazing and he looked even better, pictures, gifs and videos really don’t do him justice.

f Jersey had ovaries, they would have imploded.

They danced and performed and made love to the microphones and talked and were amazing in every sense. Jersey was having an amazing time, quickly losing his voice and not caring that his ribs would be bruised from the barrier, and his heart kept having little spasms. Alex really didn’t stop looking at him! It wasn’t some fan fantasy, he really was!

Then, towards the middle/end of their set, he realized why.

His sleeves somehow had been tugged down by those near him and there were fresh bloodstains on the bandages from his arms being stretched up in excitement, fully visible to the band.

_Shit._

_Panic_

Jersey lowered his arms and tried to pull his sleeves up, but then he heard Alex say “OK, can we just stop a second?” Jersey’s heart stopped, and he looked up to see Alex staring at him, concern all over his face. Alex came over to him and said “What the fuck is this?” pointing at his arms. Jersey couldn’t speak, heart going completely wild. He could hardly breathe and had no words to reply. “Come up on stage” Alex then said, and reached down and grabbed. His. Hand. People’s hands suddenly pushed at Jersey, pushing him up on stage. A security guard grabbed him under the arms and hauled him, putting him on the stage. “What’s your name?” Alex asked, placing one hand on his back. “I-uh” Jersey managed, “Jersey” He whispered, but Alex caught it on the mike. “Jersey? Ok, can you tell me why you did this?” Alex then took his arm and looked at it, forehead creasing. Jersey sensed Jack at his back, before Jack put an arm around his shoulders. “I-… I…My dad found out I was gay, and hit me, and this is the only way I feel alive again, other than listening to music” Jersey managed, feeling the tears of shame come to his eyes, and desperately fighting them back.

_Shit, Not here,_

_Not in front of them_

“Fuck him. Don’t do this to yourself again, you hear me?” Alex said, stepping closer and staring at him. “You are worth more, ok? Not matter how low you feel, never do this again” The he hugged him. That’s when the tears really started pouring. “Just sit there ok?” Alex pointed to a speaker. “The next songs are for you.”

He started playing the chords to Lullabies as Jersey sat, trying to hold back the tears. Jersey had no clue where to look. He had no clue where to look when Alex took him backstage and hugged him. He had no clue what to do where everyone backstage hugged him.

He hadn’t expected this, not in his wildest fanboy dreams

Then Alex gave him his number “Call me whenever you feel like shit again ok?” His dark eyes were serious. “Promise me.” He then managed to wrest Jersey’s number from him. “I promise” Jersey managed, looking at the paper. The crew dropped him off at his home with calls of “Be strong!”

 

Alex texted Jersey that night.

Don’t fucking cut that skin again ok? It’s too gorgeous, like you.

And in the morning, after texting him almost all night;

You’re beautiful, be strong Jersey ok? I love you

 

Jersey called Alex a few nights later when his dad, having had a few beers, yelled and threw ornaments at him. Jersey had just managed to escape with only a few minor scrapes and bruises from his fathers’ violence. Alex asked him for his email, and within 5 minutes a plane ticket invoice thing came up in his inbox.

To the city ATL were in.

“Just come here ok? I want to know that you’re safe from him. I don’t give a fuck about school or whatever. And don’t argue about cost, we all chipped in for this. It needs to stop, you need to be safe.” Alex said into the phone firmly.

That’s when Jersey joined them on tour.

At the end of tour, after being the happiest he’s ever been in his whole existence, Alex came with him back to his house and explained firmly and angrily that Jersey was moving in with him. For once, his dad didn’t say anything, possibly because the burly security guards (who had grown fond of Jersey) were glaring at him, rumbling angrily in their chests.

That night was when Alex kissed him, and kissed the tears away.

That night Alex held him closer than ever before and said

“Don’t leave me.”

“I’ve fallen for you.”


End file.
